Match Report

It started as an innocent discussion in a pub. Furlong told us about renewing his vows with Mira in Ireland. We jokingly asked if we could join… the seed was planted… beers were consumed… ideas about playing a game in Ireland started floating around… more beers were consumed… plans were made… and so, the The Greatest International Friendly Ever (GIFE) was born. In hindsight, we probably should have told Mira. This is the first GIFE, so it received A LOT of media coverage. Michael Furlong’s magnum opus is this video which, we are sure, will eventually turn into the greatest documentary ever about old men playing football.

This is what we imagine the Irish Times would have said if they had known about the match (Keep in mind that our “journalist”, Chris Hudson, believes that truth should never get in the way of a good story):

THE IRISH TIMES

July 30, 2017

County Galway. It was a glorious day in Roundstone Ireland as the Mad 14 of the Rusty Plough (and their intrepid supporters) boarded the team bus (indeed! A team bus!). The doors closed and the lads were ready. But where was Kurt? He was present for the extensive pre-match carbo loading session at O’Dowds pub on Friday night. Messages were sent. Calls were made. And it was determined that the slightly hung over and slightly jet lagged center back would meet the squad at the pitch. The story of his adventure to join the squad is for another scribe.

Back on the bus the Mad 14 traversed the bogs and bens of the Wild Atlantic Way on the way to New Village Park in Oughterard, Ireland. Game faces were on, songs were sung. And cars were scraped on single lane roads.

At last the bus arrived at the soccer complex. Two fields in the middle of, well, nowhere. But there was a clubhouse. And a changing room. Paul, the Oughterard manager, welcomed us to his lovely complex. The Mad 14 began the ritual of pregame prep. Number 10 - Franco. 9 - Donal. 6? Well Furlong didn’t even put it in the bag. He kept it separate to ensure it was available.

The Mad 14 were made up of the “Americans”; Hudson, Herrarte, Wekwerth (the elder), Costello, Faucette, Furlong, Moriconi, Spreyer, Alfaro, Giovanetti, O’Sullivan, Wekwerth (the younger) and a couple of locals, Brendan McCarthy (tall Brendan) and Brendan O’Connor (Brendan), both from Donal’s home town of Abbeydorney.

*Editor’s note. We’re still 45 minutes from game time. Grab a pint, enjoy the read. *

The Ploughmen stepped out of the changing room and made their way to the “big pitch.” To say the grass was perfect would be an understatement. The turf fields in California are less flat than the Oughterard pitch. The Rusties were a bit crestfallen as they realized that their favorite excuse would not be available on this Saturday afternoon.

As the Plough proceeded with their stretches, international team manager David Moffat assessed his squad. Moriconi arrived in Ireland with a hamstring injury and Costello was injured during Friday’s pre-match beach warm-up game. Although they would be able to play, The Mad 14 were already down to 12 healthy players. As Moffat considered his options, out of the west came a vision in red. Blond hair flowing, goalie gloves on, “Mark” strode onto the pitch, walked up to Moffat and announced “I’m here to be your keeper.” It seems that several months back Donal mentioned the match to an SF-based painter who proceeded to inform his Galway-based buddy about the match. With no further communication or confirmation, Mark arrived and was welcomed into the net.

Just then, referee Mary blew the whistle and brought the two teams to the center of the pitch for the pre-match handshake and other various instructions. At that moment, the sun was shining and the weather was glorious. The Rusty Plough looked resplendent in their traditional yellow with black kits, the Trumer Pils logo proudly emblazoned across their chests. Oughterard A.F.C did not disappoint, sporting kits that featured the name of their local pub. This had the potential to be a true match of equals.

Editor’s note: The following description of the game is based on actual events but is in no way to be taken as an actual description of the game. As we learned on the Emerald Isle, never let the facts get in the way of a good story. Plus, there is actual film footage of the match that may not agree with this telling. We’ll let the reader determine where Fake News begins.

The whistle blew and the #GreatestInternationalFriendlyEver was on. The Plough faced a strong wind from the west in the opening half. For the first 20 minutes, the Plough were clearly the stronger team. Good movement and nice passing made it evident that many of the players were familiar with each other. The Oughterard team, on the other hand, was a bit of a mash-up of players and it took them a bit to come together as a squad.

The Plough had several first-half chances. After keeping Kurt under wraps for all of five minutes, the Plough earned a throw at about the 30-yard line. Kurt lined up for the throw and Hudson calmly wandered behind the defenders at about the 6-yard line. Kurt placed the throw-in over the surprised defenders and right on to Hudson’s head. Hudson connected with a flick and sent it to the far post, but failed to get any real power on it and the OAFC keeper made an easy save.

A bit later, the Plough thought they had gone ahead. Jeremey got some space down the left side and found Donal streaking towards the goal. He placed a perfect pass across the box to Donal’s feet. Donal took a touch to control and saw the keeper coming straight at him with lots of space between the keeper and the post. Convinced he had the keeper beaten, Donal hit the ball low and hard towards the post and was prepared to turn and celebrate, but the keeper made a flying stab at the ball with his left leg and managed to just nudge it wide of the net. Rumors began that the keeper had been part of the Leeds United club at some point.

Kurt provided yet another opportunity on a long-throw in that found the head of Tall Brendan who had made his way into the box from his left back position. Brendan made solid contact and it looked certain to be going in. It must have been the strong westerly wind that carried the ball wide of the net. As the ball traveled out of bounds several Rusties cried out “Hudson, how’d you miss that?”, confirming that Hudson just might have some Irish ancestry.

But it wasn’t all offense. As the game progressed, OAFC started to gel. At first, they mostly resorted to long balls that kept the Plough back line on their toes. The strong wind carried many of them to the safety of the keeper Mark. One long ball made it through and the OAFC striker got in behind the defense and took an acrobatic touch to get the ball in front of him, but his next touch was a bit strong and Mark was able to collect.

OAFC continued to grow and strung together a series of passes. They sliced through the midfield and exposed the Plough defense, but the final through ball was a bit long. Not long after, the OAFC striker managed to juke past both Hudson and Spreyer and was in on goal. He shot hard to his left, but keeper Mark got a hand up just in time and parried it wide.

With the game more even now, the Rusties had another few chances. Moriconi made a pass up to Jeremey who beat the left back and drove to the corner, He placed another perfect cross to the top corner of the box where Nik was running hard to meet it. Just as it seemed that Nik would get off a blazing shot, the OAFC center back made a perfectly timed slide tackle and took the ball off Nik’s foot and prevented the opportunity.

Not long after, Jeff found himself with the ball running along the left sideline, he looked up and played a perfect ball for Donal who broke free of his defender and was looking to get straight in on goal. Alas, despite the fact that Donal is never offside, he was adjudged to be offside. Later, Furlong took a throw-in to Brendan (not Tall Brendan), who juked his defender and found Furling as he ran up the right side. To everyone’s surprise Furlong one-timed it into the box. Walter took the pass with his chest and dropped it expertly for Donal who proceeded to hit it to Richmond.

On the subsequent play, OAFC made a quick long pass that almost caught the Rusties by surprise. However, Mike Costello, despite his bad wheel, sussed out the danger, beat the OAFC player to the ball, and repelled it with an emphatic header (which looked quite painful).

The most controversial moment of the match occurred just before halftime. OAFC coordinated their best attack of the half. Nice runs and good passing put them in a four on three situation. Kurt rolled right to cover the outside, Hudson stepped to the ball, Jose was stuck covering two runners on the left. Jeremey raced back towards the ball and fouled the OAFC player just as he made his pass. The pass evaded Hudson’s leg and found one of the two runners (who may have been offside?), the runner gathered up the ball, stepped to his left and calmly slid the ball past Mark and into the net.

But wait, here comes referee Mary running to the spot of the foul and pointing at the pitch. She had clearly blown her whistle for the foul before the goal was scored, but the OAFC players were incensed that she had not allowed advantage to be played. As they recalled later in the pub, their complaints fell on deaf ears as Mary defused the situation by saying “come on boys, they’re only here for the weekend.”

The whistle then blew for halftime and the Plough was elated to have held Oughterard scoreless despite playing against the wind. The visitors had high hopes that the second half would favor them and this was bolstered by the fact the manager Moffat avoided any Moriconi-Trapattoni style meddling and entered the second half with the same 4-4-2 formation.

With a slight rain starting to fall (Ireland - four seasons a day), the Rusties were ready to take it to the home squad. But it was Oughterard that started on the front foot. Apparently, at half-time, they decided to pay more attention to Pirlo (Jeremy) and that impacted the Rusties mid-field play. Plus, the guy from Leeds United was no longer in the goal, but was now an attacking mid. And, it appeared that, in keeping with the Irish blessing, Oughterard found the wind to be “always at their backs.” (Actually, the wind had not changed, but since the grass was so nice, the Rusties were desperate for excuses). In short order OAFC got down their left side and slotted a through ball into the box. It looked like he’d get a shot off, but Kurt made a great sprint to cover the striker and not only get the ball, but also managed to play it off the striker and earn a goal kick. Not long after, OAFC managed another shot from their left side. This low strike hit the grass just in front of Mark who struggled to catch it. The ball got through his hands, but he had deflected it enough to send it just wide of the net. The Oughterardians were not quite done. They also launched a shot from mid-field that caught keeper Mark off his line. He managed to back pedal and barely got a hand to the ball which hit the cross bar. OAFC was first to react to the rebound, but the Plough was fortunate that the follow-up header sailed over the net.

The Rusties then got serious and reorganized. With Jeremey under heavy scrutiny, Darius (who went from age 19 to 40 for the purpose of this match) found more space in the middle. He danced his way through the OAFC defense several times and unleased a number of shots. He learned much from Franco, sending several balls to Richmond. One long range shot was tipped by the OAFC keeper onto the cross bar and out of bounds. Another chance, on a hard run from the left edge, was pushed just wide by the diving goalie.

Brendan played a great second half on the left wing and helped keep the pressure on the home side, he and Jose combined for a number of nice passing sequences. The best was one that sprung Jose down the left side. As he surged forward Walter was desperately trying to stay onside while he waited for the pass. And he waited. And he waited. And, when the pass finally came, Walter had finally wandered into offside territory.

The Rusties later earned a corner kick that was played back to Franco who placed a ball to the upper corner of the far post. Darius rose to bury the ball and, as he lined up his shot, Nik jumped in front of him and nodded the ball over the net. Nik has soothed himself by stating that they were both offside anyway.

The visitors now seemed content to go for the draw on foreign soil. But Manager Moffat was not ready to relax with just seven minutes to go. Faucette, who was on the sidelines for a break, suggested that Furlong should go in at striker to spark things up. The Rusties then won possession in midfield and moved up the pitch for an attack. A ball was crossed in and an OAFC defender deflected in out of bounds.

The Rusties crowded the box as Furlong ambled to the corner to take the resulting free kick. Suddenly Nik sprinted over to Furlong and a short conversation ensued. Furlong then placed the ball on the corner line and wandered away. Nik looked towards the box and then played a nice easy short corner to Furlong. Furlong received the pass and calmly controlled it. And no one from OAFC challenged him. So, he took another touch to get the ball out of his feet. And no one from OAFC challenged him. So, he took one more touch to get the ball a bit to his right. And no one from OAFC challenged him. And then, summoning all of the effort that had gone into organizing the #GreatestInternationalFriendlyEver, he let loose with the most powerful shot his body has unleased in the past decade. The cracking attempt was hard and low. As it sped towards the first OAFC defender, he tried to stop it, but it passed through his legs. As if on some sort of guided missile system, it flew through a forest of offensive and defensive players. In a flash, it was upon the goalie who dropped as quickly as he could. But this was to be Furlong’s day. The ball went through the goalie’s legs and under his falling body and then, in slow-motion, billowed the twine of the net.

In what has since been described as the first pitch invasion ever in the history of the Rusty Plough, the yellow clad visitors and their supporters spilled onto the field in joyous celebration. Franco may have injured himself more during the celebratory run than during the match. Furlong was mobbed and the happiness was hard to describe. The Plough was up 0-1!

The home squad was now irritated and they looked ready to really take it to the Plough for the last few minutes. The Rusties prepared for an invasion to rival that of Normandy. But then, perhaps sensing that the friendly part of the #GreatestInternationalFriendlyEver might be at risk, ref Mary blew the final whistle and the visitors carried the day.