‘Twas a lovely morning as the Rusties gathered at Gabe East for their second match of the season. The yellow kit was chosen for the day and, as always, the Plough looked transcendent with Trumer Pils proudly emblazoned on their jerseys. The day’s opponents were MFC Redwoods, a team that entered the match with two losses to the Rusties’ single draw. Hopes were high.
The match featured the first-time management duo of Nik Wekwerth and Patty Fisher. Wekwerth, the imposing German, took the lead, while Patty was just happy to be there. The team gathered for the big reveal prior to the match. Nik looked at his paperz (you have no paperz?) and announced “Vee shall play ze four-four-two UND! We shall play it correctly!” As the awesomeness of his absolute power went to his head, he may have forgotten who he was speaking to.
The Rusties started well and most of the initial pressure was in the Redwood’s half, but the 4-4-2 formation left the Plough a bit exposed in the middle of the field as the wingers were more focused on staying wide for the attack. Unfortunately for the Plough, a foray by the Redwoods into the Rusty half of the field found them with a player wide open at the 25 yard line. No one closed him down and he unleashed a curler towards the net. Temporarily deputized keeper Jamie Cope tried valiantly to palm it over the bar, but it swerved as it approached him, avoided his hand, and found the back of the net. “Scheisse” muttered the lead manager. The assistant manager wandered aimlessly on the sideline, eager to avoid blame.
But the Plough had chances! Yeo was relentless down the right flank. Faucette and Waranoff attacked the 18 yard box. Crosses came in from Welch, lovely combinations were witnessed between Weinstein and Giovannetti. To be fair, the Plough was the superior team. The Plough failed to capitalize on at least three opportunities to score. But it seemed just a matter of time.
Then a moment came where a long ball was sent down the right side. Waranoff took off after it and caught up to it deep in the corner. Hudson saw his opportunity and took off from his center back position and trailed the play. He was all alone in the center of the pitch at the 18 yard box, but Waranoff’s momentum prevented him from getting off a clean cross and the Redwood’s keeper grabbed the pass and ended the threat.
Then, the keeper quickly distributed the ball and the Redwoods launched a counter attack. A long ball was dumped over the Rusty defense, which was short one defender with Hudson well out of position. The ball bounced awkwardly and a misplayed clearance found the ball at a Redwoods player’s foot. He passed to their open striker. Cope came out to challenge the shot, but the Striker was not rusty. He took full advantage of his opportunity and slotted it low into the bottom corner for a two-nil lead.
The German threw his clipboard to the ground and shouted “Verdammte Hölle!”
Despite the deficit, the Rusties were in high spirits. They had controlled the match and expected to recover. The game entered halftime with the 0-2 score intact.
The Manager decided that it was time for the 3-2-3-2 formation to stymie the Redwoods in the middle and also bolster the attack. The impact of the change was obvious. Weinstein and Herrarte held the holding-mid positions. Viveros became the sole center back. Beach patrolled the right defensive side. Kuehnl was freed up to attack on the left and Welch found the space to dance to his heart’s content. The Rusties essentially controlled the second half with almost all of the possession. Unfortunately, the Redwoods adopted the “park-the-bus” defense combined with the “single-asshole” striker to thwart the Rusties. The Bus drivers clogged the box and, despite numerous crosses, some tremendous play down the middle and some excellent shots, the Rusties could not find a way through. And, on the few times the Redwoods got the ball up the pitch, asshole striker focused his energy on knocking Rusties down rather than trying to score, which wasted time and cost the Rusties energy.
The Rusties tried everything. Emeritus talisman Moriconi was, unfortunately, unavailable to bring his creative energy to the field having suffered a calf pull in the first half. Perhaps late-night dancing should be added to the list of things to be avoided pre-game? Emeritus stalwart Costello again proved that, you may get the ball past him, but you will not get your body past him. He was a force on the right side and the Redwood’s player whom he knocked down and then sat upon will testify to his desire to win.
The Redwood’s keeper also proved to be quite formidable, intercepting crosses, palming over shots and basically being very solid. The Redwoods also had luck on their side, deflections went wide rather than in, the ref may have called some ticky-tack fouls against the Rusties. It was getting desperate. Webber had some opportunities to cause havoc, but again, the massive defensive presence deep in the box made things difficult. Spreyer, returning after a one-year medical leave, found his footing and terrorized the left side of the pitch and uncorked a few of his trademark long throw-ins. Alas, all to no effect.
Final quarter keeper Beach kept a clean sheet, and Cope desperately tried to make an impact when he was released onto the pitch, but again, the defense was hard to penetrate. Towards the end of the match, Hudson got his head on a great corner fired in by Yeo, but it was a bit too high and all he could do was send it over the crossbar.
The match ended with the Rusties having lost on the scoresheet despite dominating the match. The lead manager turned to his assistant and stated “Meine spieler sind nicht gut.” His assistant said, “Does that mean we’re getting beer now?”
Who will manage next week? What will the formation be? Can this team ever learn… stay tuned.
Golden Boot
- Waranoff - 1