The day started on an ominous note for the Rusty Plough. The manager’s phone buzzed with an incoming message. “Ahh im too hungover to play sorry.” But rather than be devastated by the loss of a key player, the reply came quickly - “Patty!! Come out and manage.” Sure enough, he swaggered onto the pitch in his Sean John sweat jacket and bucket cap, immediately commanding the respect of his players in a way no other manager could.
The Rusties donned their slimming black kits and looked tremendous with Trumer Pils emblazoned across the jerseys. As they gathered for the pre-match check-in, they realized that their former (and hopefully future) teammate Mikko was the ref. Mikko laid out the ground rules; “I can’t tell if a player is offsides. I can’t tell if the ball goes out. I can’t tell much of anything. Don’t complain.”
The game started and the Rusty defense decided to test just how bad the ref would be. They allowed an Arsenal player to wander 15 yards offsides. The pass went over the defenders and to the offside player. The defense waited, but the ref was true to his word and ignored the infraction. Fortunately for the Plough, the Arsenal player was of the older/slower variety and he posed no real threat. Lesson learned?
Shortly thereafter, Jason got the ball on the right side. He dribbled towards the end line well wide of the goal. He then angled back towards the net where he was obviously going to cut one back to one of the strikers waiting in the center of the box. But wait, he confused everyone by darting right at goal. He took a shot from an impossibly tight angle and then wheeled away in celebration as it hit the back of the net. The keeper grabbed the ball and rolled it back towards midfield. The ref however did not react. He stood there quietly. Then the defenders began to complain that it went in through the side netting. The goalie stayed quiet. Mikko walked up and examined the goal (perhaps he could have done this pre-game)? He then thought a bit more and decided that it was not a goal and awarded a goal kick. Donal noted that the ball hit the keeper’s hands and it had to at least be a corner kick. Mikko agreed. In thinking about the pre-game talk, the Plough realized that Mikko did not mention “I can’t tell if the ball goes in the goal.”
The Plough was incredulous and Jason was beside himself. His contract includes a huge bonus for each goal scored. But Mikko was unmoved. To make matters worse, Arsenal soon launched an attack to a player who was, you guessed it, offsides. This player was not as old and slow and he beat Forsyth who tried to cut down the angle and easily scored putting the Rusties down 1-0.
This fired the Plough up and much of the balance of the half was played in the Arsenal half of the field. On a play where many Rusty defenders found themselves in attacking positions a ball came back out to the 30 yard line. Jamie took a mighty swing, but made only glancing contact. The ball popped up and knuckled to the left side of the goal where Peter was waiting in an offsides position. He extended his leg behind him and hit the dropping ball over his own head and towards the goal where it dropped between the keeper’s hands and the crossbar. Everyone looked at the ref who seemed satisfied that all was good. 1-1! Unfortunately, Jamie’s mighty swing popped something and he had to remove himself from the match.
Arsenal kicked off and brought the ball down the left side of the field. The Rusty defense was busy trying to reorganize after the loss of Jamie. Aidan won the ball and sent it across to Chris who passed it out wide to Gonzalo. G sent the ball up the line to Kurt who passed it to Lewis. Lewis sent it back to Kurt and Kurt found Peter running down the left wing. Peter cut back and saw Nik free in the middle. The pass from Peter hopped up slightly as it passed the sturdy German. He planted his foot and fired the ball from 30 yards out. The ball began to swerve to the right. The keeper hopped a bit, watched the ball, and began to [the ball hits the back of the net] move his hands and then made a game effort to stop the shot. The rebound from the back of the net was out of the goal by the time the keeper completed hi attempted save.
With the Rusties up 2-1, Arsenal had one more chance before the end of the half, but Aidan made an excellent slide tackle in the box to prevent a shot and make amends for an earlier transgression.
At halftime there was some discussion about switching to a 4-4-2 to preserve the lead. “Bollocks” shouted manager Fisher. “Don’t confuse yourselves!” The manager made sense.
The Plough had the majority of possession in the second half, but regularly left passes short, or passed it right into the heart of the Arsenal defense, and they could not mount any attacks. Instead, the cheap giveaways allowed Arsenal to play a number of long balls to their striker who had to be chased down by the defenders or beaten to the ball by keeper Forsyth.
Finally, the Plough’s poor play caught up with them and the Arsenal striker pounced on a poor back pass. He raced in on goal as Chris tried to catch him from behind. Suddenly, the striker cut the ball back. Let’s just say that Hudson’s ability to turn or stop suddenly can be compared to that of the Titanic. So the striker found himself free and blasted a shot past the keeper to even the score at 2 all. At this point, Hudson lost his mind and unleashed a string of expletives and vitriol that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush. Mikko provided him with the much deserved yellow and Hudson subbed himself off.
Perhaps it was the diatribe, or perhaps it was simply the fact that Hudson was no longer on the field, but the Plough was inspired. Kurt, creating havoc as usual, jumped on a loose pass by the Arsenal mid-field and drove into the box. He had a full head of steam and was about to drive past the defender when the defender stuck out a leg and hauled him down. Mikko, correctly, called the penalty.
Nik meandered towards the spot when manager Fisher issued a firm command. “Nooo, nooo, not him!! Give it to Peter!” Nik was crestfallen and slid to the side to dial his therapist. Peter calmly placed the ball on the spot and slammed it past the keeper. The Rusty lead was restored.
Arsenal, playing with no subs, was now out of gas and the goal crushed their spirit. Shortly after the goal, the ball came out wide to Luke on the right side. For the second game running, Luke was both marking and being marked by a player with a significant leg injury. This made Luke look magnificent. He took advantage of the cushion his defender offered and found Jason with a great pass. Jason looped the ball to the middle of the box towards Nik who was charging at the goal. Nik controlled the ball and hit it towards the goal, but it found the crossbar. Josh, was alive to the opportunity and raced forward and then replicated Peter’s behind the back, outside of the foot volley and launched the ball into the net to provide the Plough with a much needed two goal cushion. Even Mikko couldn’t figure out a way to screw it up.
The win kept the Plough in second place, one point ahead of Juventus and three ahead of Alameda. Juventus has three to play with two of those against the undefeated OGs. Alameda has two to play with a final match against the Rusty Plough which may very well decide who takes second in the league.